American Girl

Luke 6:35 But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil.

I am an American. I was born and raised in America. My dad was an immigrant from Germany. But he is also an American. He immigrated here and gained citizenship. He grew up in a small town in Michigan and grew up to serve as a hard hat deep sea diver in the United States Navy. He raised my sister and me to be proud to be Americans. To never take for granted what we have and to love and be kind. I have always been proud to be an American. But lately, I am hurt and saddened and confused about what it means to be an American. 

You see, being an American doesn't seem like the noble and honorable thing much anymore. It is an amorphic thing, changing quickly from day to day, from race group to race group. There are times that when I'm watching the news I'm almost afraid to admit that I am an American. You see, I'm also Caucasian. I'm a Caucasian American. Typing that here brings up concern because what if I get lumped into the groups of Caucasian Americans that have been making news lately. Can I be a Caucasian American and state that without someone accusing me of being racist? Do people who don't know me read those words and automatically lump me into the hate groups and the Neo-Nazi gatherings that are being splashed across the media? Do they close their eyes and picture me as a tiki-torch bearing protestor? I hope not because that couldn't be further from the truth for me personally. 

But, as I read Facebook and the news and social media, this is what I am seeing. As ridiculous as it seems that I would be afraid of being judged by the words I have identified with above, it is no more absurd than what is really happening right now across America. People are being judged for how they identify themselves. People are being hated and targeted and even killed for how they identify. People from all walks of life. All races. All creeds. This country is seemingly disintegrating before our very eyes. People are getting bolder in their ignorance. Keyboard warriors are brave sitting behind their screens. Fear and terror are spreading. I, for one, am speaking out. Right here in this blog post I am giving my opinion. At the risk of being called a great litany of things, I am not going to sit in silence anymore. I am using my platform to try and promote peace and remind people of my family motto of be kind. Because even as the world seems to be going mad, it only takes one spark to light a fire. And I have so many kind and amazing and involved friends I know we can start an inferno of love right here in our little corner. 

I am a Caucasian. This means that I am white. I am sure there are people that would say I am steeped in white privilege. There are people that would say I am racist because of pride. I say that I am white. The color of my skin is white. My ancestors were European on both sides of my family. And just as you can't control that your skin is black or white or brown or purple, I didn't have a say in being white. I was born white. I am proud that I am white. I am proud of the German heritage that I was born with. This makes me white. This makes me German. The fact that my father immigrated here from Germany does not make me anti-black or anti-brown or anti-purple. It does not make me racist.  It does not make me superior to anyone.  It makes me white. I am Caucasian. 

I am an American. My grandmother and father came to the United States when my dad was twelve years old. They came here seeking refuge from their war-torn country. My dad instilled in us pride in our America. He taught us to stand for the National Anthem. My eyes fill with tears when I see our flag being carried past. I am humbled by the veterans and active duty and missing in action and prisoners of war that fought for the freedoms we have. My pride in being American does not mean that I hate people from other countries. It does not mean that I get angry at Michael Bennett and Marshawn Lynch for sitting during the National Anthem. Do I agree with them? No I don't, but I also know that they have feelings and they have opinions also. And it is those differences of opinions that our country was founded on. That is what our soldiers and sailors and servicemen and women fight for. Differences of opinion. I am proud to be an American. A small corner of the giant world.

I am a woman. I was born a woman. I had no say in how I was born. I was born with girl parts and girl feelings. Have I been at a disadvantage because I am a woman? In some instances I believe I have. I was assaulted because I was a girl. I have been taken advantage of because I am a woman. Do I regret being a woman? Not at all! I am proud to be a woman. I love my long hair and my soft curves. I love that I was gifted with being able to have children. I love being a woman. I am proud to be a woman. This pride does not make me anti-man. It does not even make me a feminist. It also doesn't make me hate people that aren't sure what they were born. My personal belief that marriage is between a woman and a man doesn't make me against homosexuals. I don't judge others in their choices, or in the way they feel they were born. 

I am a Christian. This is my biggest defining characteristic in my opinion. I have faith in God. I believe that God sent His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for my sins. I believe that Jesus will come again to take all believers home to heaven. I believe that Jesus paid the debt for my sins and that He loves and cares for me so very much. These beliefs do not mean that I hate people of other faiths. It doesn't mean that I ridicule Mormons or tell Muslims that they are going to hell for their beliefs. It simply means that I follow the Christian faith. 

I know that I am oversimplifying things. I know that the extremist groups that are popping up don't necessarily follow my rainbows and sunshine attitude presented here. But, we can be the change in even these extremist situations. We don't have to all agree with each other! We get to have differences of opinions. We get to have pride in who we are, all of who we are, and not be criticized under the assumption that we are against everyone and anyone who isn't like us. I honestly and whole-heartedly believe that love is the answer! Love your neighbor! Love your friends! Love your family! Love strangers! But even as our verse states above, love our enemies! Love the people who persecute us! Love them! They are missing love. They have hate in their hearts and that is the missing link. They are missing love! They are so driven to just hate others that there is seemingly nothing that can be done. But hating them back won't fix anything. We need to love! We need to be kind! We need to realize that the extremist groups, although prominent in the news right now, are not the majority. The majority of this great nation is still representative of the hard-working, dedicated people that this nation was formed around. The immigrants that came together to form this country! The majority of the people that I know are looking for love and peace and faith and hope! They are looking for kind and loving people that aren't buying into the disgusting behavior of a few. 

Help me spread love! Hug a stranger! Help someone who is on the streets. For every negative thing you see or hear on the news or on Facebook, complete three positive tasks. Keep it simple! Send a card to someone who could use a pick me up! Donate to a charity in someone's name. Talk to the stranger in line behind you. Be proud of who you are and ask about who someone else is. Get off of social media, or at least stop reading the hate! It's permeating our pages and filling our timelines. And when that is all you see and all you read, it is draining. And you start to believe that this is what our country is full of. Hate. Horrible people carrying torches. People tearing our country to pieces. 

Choose love! Choose kindness! Choose to believe that there is more good than hate in the world. Know that I love you all! No matter your skin color. No matter your faith and beliefs. No matter your sexual orientation. I just love! I want to hear the pride you have in who you are. Don't be ashamed to declare who you are! Don't let hate win!

I want to do something bigger than this blog. I'm not sure exactly what that is. A community potluck filled with laughter and love and light? A community service project of some sort? A multi-cultural festival where we learn who we are as a town? We need a movement of love and forgiveness and kindness! We need to come together as people! As people to spread love! Father God is moving me to do something! We need love! So much love...

Love, do good, and lend without expecting anything in return. We can be the change we want to see in these times of hate that is tearing this nation apart! Help me spread love! And kindness. It's maybe not enough to heal everything, but I have faith and hope that a little love and peace can be the catalyst to healing. Help me heal our people! For no matter what we stand up for, I trust that we can come together for the greater good and start the healing of our nation.

I'll Lead You Home...

Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

I love to drive.  I have always liked to just get in my truck and go somewhere.  Road trips with friends when my truck was brand new.  Camping and hiking and tubing were fun, but for me getting there was the best part.  I love driving and singing to the radio and seeing the sights and just the whole experience of traveling.  When I get to the point where I feel like I'm done with everything, my first fight or flight instinct is really flight.  Running to my truck, jumping in, and just driving off into the sunset. 

The girls and I went on a trip this weekend.  It was our first time as a family driving over mountain passes and heading to Eastern Washington.  We had a wedding Friday evening in Snohomish and once the wedding and reception were winding down, we went to the truck, the girls changed into their jammies, and we set off for our adventure.  We didn't start out until 8:30, however, and by the time we started up over the pass it was pretty dark. Road construction and a road paving project on the west side of the pass left the roads as large black patches and the unpainted lines on the mountain roads didn't make the trip as exciting as I was hoping.  Driving slower than I should have been and clutching the steering wheel, I made my way over the pass, praying with each turn and each mile that my truck drove.  Asking Father God to protect us and keep us safe as we made our way through what seemed mile after terrifying mile.  Trying not to let on that I was filled with fear, as my two little ones in the back seat made comments like "it's so dark" and "why are you going to slow?" and "are you ok, mommy?"  I was relieved when we made it to the summit and started the descent down into the other side of the state.  My hands released the steering wheel a bit, the color drained back into my cheeks, and I started breathing again.

We completed the tasks for the rest of the weekend, having a lovely and enjoyable time exploring Leavenworth and Wenatchee.  We laughed and hugged and ate and walked our way into memories that will be etched into our hearts.  But, as with most good things, it had to come to an end.  Before we knew it we were packing up and jumping back into the truck and heading back over the mountain pass.  This time would be better, I told myself.  This time it is daylight and I can see the road and the beauty of the mountain.  It would be light and there wouldn't be any reason to fear.  So, after a few bonus activities, we headed back up over the pass.  The sun was shining and the mountain pass was so green and beautiful.  We reached the summit in no time and started the descent down the mountain.

And then I realized what Father God had done for us on our journey east.  Seeing what was in front of me in the daylight, the drop off of the mountain, nothing separating our car from falling over the side except for the tiny concrete jersey barrier.  On the way east over the mountains, I wanted nothing but to be going back down the other side.  It was too dark for me to experience the fear of coming down off of the pass.  I didn't see the rivers running right next to the guard rail.  I didn't see the steep drop offs off the side of the mountain.  I didn't know that just a few inches closer to the edge of the road and I could have flipped my car into a ditch.  I was afraid, but I kept driving, trusting that God would carry us through to the Eastern side of Washington.  And He did!

God protects us from so much!  There are so many dangers and disasters in this road.  We walk through our days, filled with fear over little things, when there are big things lurking in the background that God is just taking care of for us.  We are so busy being frightened of the little things like not knowing where our lane is on the road, that we don't even notice the cliff lurking in the background.  We are so focused on worrying about what is right in front of us, that we don't notice what God is doing behind the scenes.  He is so awesome and so amazing!  He is fighting for us each and every second of the day, protecting us from big dangers and super scary monsters.  I know that I constantly make the mistake of trying to take care of everything on my own.  I try really hard to orchestrate my life so that everything falls into place and all is well.  I plow through and plan and try and arrange things, not even remembering that the one who is really in charge is Heavenly Father.  HE is the one that is taking care of everything.  HE is the one orchestrating my life so that everything falls into place.  HE is the one that is making sure that all is well.  HE is the one arranging things for me.

I worry too much.  I don't trust enough.  I don't have faith that He will drive me safely over the mountain passes.  I need to release the control that I so desperately think I need to have and hand the reins over to Him.  He is in charge!  He is the one that is walking me through life.  He is the one that I need to turn to in fear.  Nothing I did on Friday night going over that mountain pass was on my own.  As the verse at the beginning of this post says, I can not and should not trust in my own understanding.  Trust in the Lord!  Trust in God!  Trust that He knows what is best for you and trust that He knows what you need! 

On the way back over the mountain pass, seeing the steep curves and the sheer drop-offs that he protected me from, I began to acknowledge His presence in my life.  His presence on this trip.  He kept us safe.  He made our path straight.  He made my driving skills sure and he guided my truck over the mountains, in the dark, and without the physical markers of this world.  He knew when I needed to slow down, when I needed to speed up, when I needed my heart to be of good courage.  He made my path straight, even over that twisty, windy mountain pass.  He made my path straight.  The driving path, and the healing path that will be another blog post soon.

Thank you, Father, for guarding and protecting us in life always!  Thank you, for always making our paths straight!  Thank you, for reminding me to trust you, even when my head and my heart are telling me different.  Thank you, for all that you do behind the scenes to keep us safe and protected!

My prayer for myself, and for anyone reading this, is that you would put your full trust in Father God.  It's a difficult thing to do sometimes, something that I am for sure struggling with right now in this moment.  But, luckily, He is a mighty, forgiving Father, who is just waiting for me to find my place in His love, and to run with faith towards his open arms.  The path is straight.  I just need to trust.