I have always processed stuff by writing. Not like in a diary or in a journal. Blogging mostly happens lately. When I was younger I would write myself letters of things I was having a hard time with. I would write and write and write and then fold the letters in my pocket and carry them around with me. Any spare moment I got to myself I would read the letter over and over and over. I would squeeze my eyes shut and think and then read some more. I would work through things and then at night I would read my letter. And then I would go to sleep and dream. I don’t know if it was helpful or harmful but that’s how I did things.
Not much has changed. If there is something I need to process or get off my chest I still write letters. They’re just not to me. I will type something out and send it to my prayer partner to help me process. We talk and pray and listen for God’s voice and insight into the matter. It is so helpful for me to be able to write. When things are tough or I’m having a hard time with something, I am not the most articulate person in the universe. I lose my speech. I clam up. I don’t want to talk or vent or process. But then my prayer partner will tell me to write it out and send it to her. It’s almost as if I think no one is going to read it. The words often flow so easily onto the paper. Just like I was a kid again.
That’s how I wish things could happen all the time for me. Talking to people is hard for me, especially when I have something big or important to talk about. How bizarre is that? I’m a speech therapist. My job is to talk and use my words. But when things get tough I don’t want to say anything. I once spent two hours sitting on my prayer partner’s couch saying nothing because I couldn’t make myself say the words that were in my head. So much hurt and anger and shame. How do you express that out loud?
I write. And there have been many time throughout my life and my journey on this earth that I wish I could have written a letter instead of talking or saying nothing. If I could, what are the letters I would write?
- I would write a letter to my husband, asking him why he made the choices he did.
- I would write a letter to my in-laws, explaining why I handled Brian’s death in the manner that I did.
- I would write a letter to my parents, telling them I am sorry for everything I dragged them through.
- I would write a letter to my rapist, telling him that I forgive him.
- I would write a letter to myself, trying to work through everything that I have been through and telling myself that it’s ok to not be strong and it’s ok to not be fine.
- I would write a letter to all of my people, thanking them for always being there for me. You all know who you are. I am surrounded by beauty and compassion and kindness.
There are many more letters I would write. So much emotion across the whole span of this journey. Gratefulness. Anger. Happiness. Sadness. Joy. Bitterness. Peace. Anxiety. Calmness. A letter for so many people. For good reasons and for negative reason, all pieces in my healing process.
But there is a letter that trumps any letter I could ever compose. It’s a love letter to us, from our Heavenly Father. The Bible is filled with letters to us. Letters guiding and directing us on this journey called life. Letters of love and admiration for His children. Letters of hope and peace in times of trials and tribulations. Letters from God, to us, for every occasion. There are sixty-six books in the Holy Bible. Sixty-six books filled with letters from God. Sixty-six books with page after page of letters to us from our Father. There are some amazing letters contained in those pages. Many of the letters that I wrote to myself started with bits and pieces of the letters from my Lord. Many of my blog posts share a letter from our Father. He loves us so. He wants the best for us. He wants us to find hope and peace and love and joy. He wants us to have faith in Him and to know that He is with us always.
Letters from God. Do you have things you need to heal from? Do you have things to work through? Write a letter to the one you need help healing from. Write a letter to your best friend or prayer partner. Write a letter to yourself. Write a letter to me even. And then, when you are finished, open the Bible and read the letters from our Lord and Savior. His words are promises from Him. They are filled with love and light and promises! They are more fulfilling than any letter you’ve ever read!
Letters to You...from our Heavenly Father.
“For God so loved the world...” John 3:16
