In an episode that the girls watched today, Martha visits a haunted house. Some of the vocabulary words presented in this episode were "eerie" and "superstitious." Amelia watched the episode and then wanted to have a discussion about ghosts and monsters. Are there really haunted houses? Everything in that episode can be explained so maybe they're not real. Maybe believing in those sorts of things just means you're gullible (another word defined in the episode). There's no such thing as ghosts or monsters. She seemed satisfied with our discussions and moved on to playing outside.
But what about ghosts and monsters? Are they real? One of my Facebook friends posted something about this just this morning and it's been on my mind all day. She posted a quote from Stephen King that said, "Monsters are real. Ghosts are real too. They live inside us. And sometimes they win." All day this quote turned over and over in my head. It was a strange coincidence (another vocabulary word from Martha) that my girls happened upon this particular episode of Martha. After reading this quote this morning, I've thought all day of the meaning behind the quote, and relating it to things in life. Not just Martha...the things in that episode were easily explained away, but what about life in general. What about the monster that is accused of researching how long it takes for a child to die in a hot car just before his son perished after being left in the car for over seven hours? Or what about the monster that went on a shooting spree recently at Seattle Pacific University? Or what about the monsters that prey on children? I think those monsters are real. Very real...too real...
Monsters are real. Ghosts too. I think they are real in all of us. For all of us. The Stephen King quote above is certainly open for interpretation. And I'm not even sure how I'm interpreting it. Or even if I want to share my interpretation. But I will say that our conscience helps us walk a fine line between being a human being and being a monster. That could be one angle on the quote. I think for me the one that has been rolling around in my brain all day is the part about them winning. There are pieces of life that haunt us all. There are parts of life that will be forever burned into our beings. And for the most part we are strong enough to rise above...to rise out of the ashes and move forward in life. But sometimes, there's a monster, or a ghost, that latches on and pulls us down. No matter how hard we fight or how tough we battle, it's a battle that is already lost. And the monsters win. The ghosts win. They bury themselves deep within, taking memories and friends and support and joy and they win. I, for one, feel that the grief process, the process that I've followed the last three years...is my monster. It's my ghost. And I've risen above! I've defeated the monsters and the ghosts within. But with each slip up, with each regression, comes a ghost that is mighty and strong and powerful. But I fight. And I will keep fighting. The monster is tough. The ghost is strong. He takes a piece of my heart. He haunts my in the night. He cuts me off from those I love and those I care about. But he won't win. I won't let him! We all have a hard enough time fighting the monsters within without having to fight the ghosts too. So, sometimes I struggle through my days and I pray through my nights and I know that one day, I will be free of this monster. I'll be done with this ghost...for good. And perhaps I'll be able to watch Martha with my girls and not think of a blog post...
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