The End of an Era

Ok...I'm going to be sappy for another minute here because really...I wasn't fully prepared for the feelings and emotions that came up today. Today being our last day of school...When June rolls around the excitement of being out for the summer fills my heart and life is good. But this year June rolled around and I was too busy. I was still excited but I had the normal end-of-the-year tasks that I have every year: progress reports, final evals and IEPs to wrap up, turning extra pay forms in, cleaning up paperwork. But we at Jackson Park had the added task of packing. Sorting through all of our things, deciding what we needed and what we wanted, and placing it into boxes for the great exodus to the other side of the fence. Talking about a new building and planning for the new building and touring the new building consumed our year. Watching it go up before our eyes and being a part of the process was so exciting. It was all so exciting. So, today, when I placed the last of my things in the last cardboard box, took my building and office keys off my keyring, and stood back to look at my empty room...I was shocked at the tears that flowed freely. And then I walked through the annex. And walked into the main building. And thought about the memories and the last 12 years in that building. How I walked through the door for the first time, so anxious and nervous to be starting my career, having heard so many things about Jackson Park...and not great things by the way. How I was the new kid so I just got Jackson Park...sorry. How that turned into "don't tell anyone how great Jackson Park is, they'll try and steal my building." for me. 

As I walked I remembered eating lunch with Bonnie and the wisdom she shared with me in my early years. How scared I was of Diane when I first started and I wasn't sure how to read her.  My first IEP with Melody (who I was also scared of) and how that completely changed my views on my services and how that would look forever. So many teachers and so many friends who had passed through the hallways. Paulette. Justine. Anna. Nikki. Shirley. Ron. So many people who have moved on and so many new people who joined our ranks. 

And then it got harder because I thought about all of the personal things that had happened for me in the safety of those walls. Announcing to the staff that I was getting married in the library. Melody announcing to the staff (twice) that I was going to have a baby. Baby showers and wedding showers. Melody holding Amelia for the first time when I brought her to work with me. Amelia at work with me in her first few weeks of life, asleep in a box under my desk in my office. My girls skipping down the hallways to see their "best friends", the teachers and principal that have become my family. Running to Kim when life started to unravel and her walking me through that day. And then knowing that my team, my friends would be there to pick up the pieces. Encouraging words from Mike occasionally when he would catch me in my office for a moment. Holding a crying Wendy and sharing an awful commonality. Having Jean walk in at just the right moment and give me a morning hug. Sending emails back and forth throughout the day with Melissa. Hearing Cece just across the hallway. Knowing I could count on Kim again to be my key buddy. Even having the safety and security of a plan if I have a seizure st work. All of those things flashed before me today. And tears fell. As someone put it, our stinky, couldn't even drink the water building grew on you...maybe like black mold! But it grew on you. And watching the people coming in to take away our lunch tables and desks and chairs and picking our school to pieces like vultures was just too much. Luckily I was done and checked out, and I left that school building for the last time, and I cried all the way home. 

And then, I thought harder about those memories and it wasn't the building. It wasn't the library or the annex or even my office that held those memories sacred. It was the people. It was the faces and the names and the people that made those moments. And although some people have moved on, and more of our friends moved on this year, and our kids keep getting older and moving up and on to better things, there will still be people. People for us to love and people for us to support. Kids to teach that need us desperately. People to help us through this-tougher-than-I-thought transition. Because who knew I would have these feelings? Who knew I would sob tears for the memories on the old Jackson Park?  The place where I got my start and where I've grown personally and professionally. But, there's a big brand new beautiful building and we're moving into it and new memories will form. New thoughts of my kids growing up with my Jackson Park family. New thoughts and new memories. New students with new problems and new strategies needed. New plans and new rooms and a new name! Jackson Park will always be a part of my soul, as it had a very important job of growing me up. And John Hawk Elementary will be just as glorious as Jackson Park was, for just as they say the church is not a building, but the church is the people, the same rings true for our school. Jackson Park is not just a building. It's the people. And I'm forever grateful for my people. They are lifelong friends...they are family...they are mine and I'm so, so grateful for my people!