My Funny Valentine

Valentine's Day...I feel like you either love it or you hate it. And scrolling through Facebook posts throughout the day, this was even more obvious. There was the love it camp posting pictures of flowers and chocolates, pictures of date night attire, check-ins at fancy restaurants and selfies with champagne glasses and kissing your lover. Then, there was the hate it camp: diatribes against this stupid commercial holiday, rants against the millions spent on roses that will be dead and gone in a few weeks, and even a picture of a dead Cupid with an arrow in his back. 

I don't think that I fit into either of these camps! I don't love it, but I don't hate it. I enjoy seeing what everyone else is doing on this special day! I love the pictures of my friends enjoying each other and having fun! I celebrate with them as they proclaim their love for one another. Many of the friends on my Facebook page I have watched through the years blossom and grow into adults in love. And it warms my heart. But I will admit that there were several times throughout the day that I maybe hated it for a few seconds. Thinking about how angry I would get at Brian as I walked through our house and collected the Valentine's gifts he had purchased, after I had told him we weren't doing gifts. Flowers. Balloons. Jewelry. Stuffed animals. Ugh! Money down the drain...or so I'd pretend. As I was cursing him a bit, my heart would soar knowing that he had gone to all that trouble for me. And I will admit that as today passed, there were moments that I would look to my counter, hoping to see flowers. Daisies...never roses...and he always knew that. 

But, those moments were fleeting. Brief. Enough to take my breath away, or send and twinge of pain to my heart, but my day was so full of joy and happiness and love I couldn't help but move on! Starting with good morning texts from my sissy and a special Valentine text from her. Manicures and pedicures with my girls and my momma. Dinner with my parents and girls and my other mom and dad, Sherri and Tom...and Rachel, who is one of my other sisters. Texting my bestie off and on throughout the day. A quick phone call and an "I love you" to my other bestie. It was a good day! A day filled with love! It was a good day!

I think I have mentioned before that I am an admin of a grief group on Facebook...a young widow group. All week I have watched as they have posted memories of their Valentines, their husbands that have passed. I have messaged these women privately to check on them. They have messaged me with sadness and fear and emptiness. They have posted similar memories of mine with Brian. A holiday filled with flowers and jewelry, fancy dinners, hugs and kisses...no more. This holiday for many of them is filled with sadness and fear, a gaping hole left in their hearts. And my heart aches for them because I know that pain. I know that sadness. And I feel for them. But I also share my thoughts and feelings on it. I have sadness. I have fear. I have a gaping hole in my heart. But I am healing. I am finding myself and who I am in this world as a widow, but also as a person, and more importantly as a Christian. For I have found someone who can heal all those wounds and loves me more than Brian or any earthly man ever could!

My Jesus! My Savior! His love is so great He died to save me! He died so that I may live! And as I learn more about my faith and my place in this crazy world, I learn exactly how much He loves me. And I learn that it's ok to breathe again. 

 

And as I see His love in my life, it connects me to the people in my life more deeply. Today was amazing! And I looked at the people in my life through eyes of intense love.  My momma. My girls. Tom and Sherri and Rachel. My sister. All of my friends. All of my family. Such intense love! Such intense feelings of love and gratefulness and peace and joy! I love, because He first loved us. And feeling His love intensify in my life, has only given me the ability to love even more!

I don't need a holiday to love others. And I don't need flowers and chocolate and jewelry to know I'm loved and to love others. I just need to pause long enough to feel His love shower down on me. And to also pause long enough to share that love with others! With you all!

Valentine's Day...a day for love. But I think everyday should be set aside for love! So, my challenge to you is to make everyday about love! Send a card to someone who you love and let them know! Hug someone! Grab their hand and tell them you love them! Stick a post it note on someone's car window reminding them how much they mean to you! Smile at a stranger! Love! And be loved! For God so loved the world...and forever set the bar for how we are to love! So love! And be loved!

Happy Valentine's Day! To all the people that I love... ❤️