The Story of Who I Am...

Today was a difficult, emotional day. Watching my family who I have come to know and love, the people who mean so very much to me go through something so emotional and tough, was hard. And grieving the pieces of that man I loved so dearly was hard. Loving someone is so worth it, but makes the "see you later"s so very hard. 

During the service today, people shared stories. Lovely stories and memories of a man who hooked into a lot of hearts. Stories of happier days when Clay was carefree and loving life. Stories from brothers and previous neighbors and people who knew and loved him.

Days like this make me think a bit deeper. Perhaps I am more morbid than others, but I paused at one point in the service and thought: What stories would people tell about me? What would people say? Have I had an impact on anyone like Clay has impacted so many? Have I changed a life for the better? Am I patient and loving and caring? Do I exude joy and happiness? Do I treat people nicely? Would people know that I am faithful and a Christian and that my main drive in life is to love and care for people as Jesus Christ loved and cared for others?

We all have stories to tell. We all have stories to be told about us. Part of my sadness and grief in the process of losing my husband was not getting those stories. Not hearing the good from Brian's life. Brian was such a good part of our community. He worked for the Washington State Patrol and then Cencom. He was a volunteer EMT and firefighter. He was a member of the Coast Guard Auxiliary. He was a HAM radio operator and donated a lot of his time to community events surrounding those areas. But the ending of his life was horrific and none of those valiant things mattered anymore. He was a child molester. He was evil and awful and sickening. Then he killed himself. Where his funeral should have filled the church, it was poorly attended, many of his law enforcement and fire department friends citing that they couldn't come and support this man given his poor choices in the ending of his life. Where there should have been stories about the great things he did for others, the volunteering he did, the people he helped, there were no stories shared. No one wanted to speak about him. He destroyed all of the good he did with one horrific decision. 

We all have stories. What would your stories be? Would people flock to the microphone to sing your praises? Would they tell family and friends what an amazing person you are? Would there be monologues on how kind and caring you were? Would people voice your faith in God and your willingness to share God's love with others?

I want that! I want to live a life that someday leads to an amazing, honorable eulogy. I want to be kind and loving and compassionate. I want people to be brought to Christ through the example I lead in my life. 

The good news? We serve a loving, forgiving Father who can turn around anyone's story. We serve a God who doesn't keep track of our past mistakes. Who loves us and cares for us and is only waiting for us to choose Him. Who knows what is in our hearts and wants us to live a life of serving and praising Him. 

It's too late for Brian. Brian ended it all and rather than giving himself a moment to redeem himself, to revise his story, to rewrite the chapters that were in the rough draft of his life. Even Brian's story could have been rewritten by our precious Lord and Savior. 

Your story could be rewritten also! Father God is a God of second chances. Even third, fourth, fifth chances! So, not happy with the prediction of what people would say about you? Change your story! Change your eulogy! Apologize to people you've hurt. Correct wrongs that need to be righted. Fix your eyes on Jesus and read your Bible. Follow His many examples of how life should be led and allow Him to carry you through your life to your ending. 

Clay's ending was amazing! He came to know Jesus as His Savior. He passed away into the arms of Jesus and is rejoicing with all of heaven right now this very second! And the stories people told about Clay reflected a man of God, even before He turned His life to Him! He was amazing! He just needed God to guide His heart down the path toward heaven, and the stories got even better!

Don't live this life that is way too short in a way that doesn't honor Father God! Love this life as His servant for others. Loving heart.  Prayerful soul. Peaceful mind. Love others with a passion for Christ. Live life so that your story is written how you want it to be written. 

What stories do you want people to  tell the world about you? What legacy do you want to leave? Think about this for a second, and ask Father God to help you find your way on that path! He wants to lead and guide you, to guard and protect you. He wants to help you write your story between now and the moment when you eternally rest in His arms in heaven. 

The story of who I am...who do I want to be? Who do I want to be known as? I want to be known as God's servant, a Daughter of the King, a witness for Him in everything I do. I'm asking God to help me write my story. Ask Him to help you write yours too!

I only hope that I am half as loved as Clay was in his all too short life on this planet. When I close my eyes, I can almost hear the heavenly concert resounding through the heavens, with the best drummer in the world pounding out a rhythm for his new angelic fans. Miss you, dad...thanks for letting me help write your story. It was the best one ever! ❤