How Far I'll Go...

Hebrews 13:20-21 Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen. 

This year is a big year for me. I am 39 years old, and when this year wraps up, and winter is here again, I will turn 40 in the blink of an eye. I'm glad my December birthday helps me put this off as long as possible. And even though I will have lived almost half of a lifetime soon, I am not even close to being finished. 

I am a work in progress. I am not finished. I am unpolished. Rough around the edges. Every day that I walk on this earth, I find new things I need and want to accomplish. I have things I want to get better at. And even more things I'd like to try. I want to keep getting better each and every day, and continue to grow in all aspects of my life. 

In my job, I want to continue to grow and change. I have recently obtained my state SLP license to broaden my horizons if called to do so. I have become a certified Autism Specialist. I have been acknowledged for the classes in Social Thinking ™ that I took down in San Jose. And just this morning I looked into a certification in Augmentative and Alternative Communication. I want to serve my students the best I can. 

I my personal life, I also have goals. I've shared them with many of you, I'm sure. I want to be able to manage my household better. As a single mom that can be difficult to do, and I always feel like there is some aspect that slips by the wayside. Laundry. The yard. Vacuuming. Dusting. There's something that I can't quite get to so developing a method to maintain all of that has always been a goal. 

I am constantly working on my weight and on my body image. Losing 130 pounds is a tremendous feat. I have about 60 more to lose before I get to my goals weight and I feel like I can do it this time. An aspect of my weight loss that I'm trying to work on is how I feel about myself in this journey. I'm constantly saying things like "If only I weighed 170 pounds, I'd be happier." I'm working on being just as happy at 230 pounds as I think I will be at 170. 

My most important journey has been my spiritual journey. I have grown so much over the course of these last few years in this arena. And the growth I have experienced has opened my eyes and trickled down into all of those other aspects in my life. When I am faithful and fully putting my trust in Father God, all of those other pieces line up perfectly and show my truly who I am meant to be in God's sight. He is truly in co trip anyways, and life is happier when I love that truth and free-fall, allowing Him to carry me through and walk me on this journey of life. 

The verse in Hebrews that I started this post with is so very important. It is speaking to the fact that my steps are planned out by Him and that He is my ultimate provider. He knows and understands my struggles and my successes, and He knows exactly what I need. When I turn that faith piece over to Him, He lines everything up for me and blessings flow into my life abundantly. 

Am I good at turning things over to Him? Not always. Do I practice what I preach? Hardly. BUT, I know that I am still lacking in aspects of this, and I line my life with people and things that will help me along my way. My daughters and I prayer regularly and read devotions and the Bible together. I have a prayer partner that I am in frequent communication with on this journey. She is amazing and quick to ask me "Have you ran this past Father God?" Or "Hmm...you should hand that over to Jesus!" I am in a church family that I constantly encouraging and filling me and my girls with love and grace. My friends that are more like family are constant reminders of who I am and who God wants me to be. 

I am not perfect. I will probably always have shortcomings that I need some work on. I will always have that next step I al looking to achieve. But my Heavenly Father will equip me with what I need when I need it. In the good times of joy and successes and happiness. And in the not-so-good times of sadness and failures and grief. He is always there. With the plan in mind, and the tools I need to walk in His glory and in His holy name!

Thank you, Father! For always being loving and forgiving and patient! God knows I need all of those things...and I am eternally grateful! He knows exactly how far I'll go! And I can't wait to see what He has in mind for me in the future for His kingdom!