All the Small Things...

Sometimes, it’s hard to fit into this world. It’s hard to feel anything but small. When you think about the expanse of the universe, you are one single little speck in this massive place. Even in the context of your own little corner you can sometimes feel...invisible. There are so many people. So many distractions. So many things that fill the time and space and area surrounding you. Often, when Kristi and I are walking to a football game, people will just plow into us and Kristi will turn and look at me and say, “Am I invisible? Can you see me right now?” In the hustle and bustle of life it sometimes feels as if you don’t fit in the world. You’re too small to have a space. You’re insignificant in the grand scheme of things. 

Things happen in life that add to this idea. It’s not just a space issue. It can be a heart issue too. It’s a lonely world at times, and it makes it hard to navigate life when you are unsure of how you fit into the scheme of things. In conversations with people we can all agree that life is so hard. And when life is hard it can be overwhelming and isolating and downright scary. There are many thoughts that float through my head in any given day. “Why do I matter?” “How do I fit into this picture?” “Where do I stand?” It’s a hard place to be, but I find myself there often. The world is so big and scary sometimes. And when you are a person with anxiety or post traumatic stress disorder or even just someone who has troubles with runaway thoughts, it can be even more so. 

Today was one of those harder days for me. It started off with very little sleep and just sort of spiraled from there. I was ready to go home and crawl into bed around 9:00 this morning. But I adulted though the rest of my day to make it to the end. I dropped my kids off at dance and I had a few choices of what I could do. Go home and sleep. Go somewhere and drink. Sit in my car and be alone. I opted for a walk. So I went to one of my favorite places and walked slowly through the darkening woods. I made it to one of my favorite spots to stop and talk to my Heavenly Father and I stopped and stood there and began to cry. Heartfelt prayers left my heart and my soul as I rocked back and forth in the middle of my spot, singing praises to Him in my head as I cast all my worries and cares onto Him. He whispered for me to open my eyes and when I did and I looked up into the heavens and the picture above is the view that I saw. Expansive trees towering tall over me. The last bit of daylight peeking through the treetops. For a split second I was overwhelmed again with the thought of being small. Insignificant. Unimportant. Standing at the base of the towering trees I felt tiny. And then the following verse popped into my head:

Matthew 6:26 - Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

I am so much more valuable to my Heavenly Father than the birds. More than the trees. More than the hustle and bustle that so often has my head swimming and searching for a firmer footing and elbowing to find my place. 

I am not insignificant. I am not nothing. I am not unimportant. To my Father, to my God, I am His most important treasure. I am the light in the night sky. I am the center of those tall and towering trees. I am so important to Him that He has a plan to love and cherish and take care of me all the days of my life, and even beyond! I am His precious daughter and He loves me. Now and forever. Amen!