I have faith in my Seahawks until the end. I've been a fan long enough to know that if there's a way for the Hawks to pull through for a win, they will find it. Kristi and I never leave our seats at home games until the final second has ticked off of the clock, or until the last knee is taken, declaring a team the winner. I have faith in my team.
As I watched the game and witnessed Kam Chancellor lose his coverage on Kyle Rudolph who took advantage and snuck up to the 27-yard-line, my heart sank. Out loud to my girls I said "They're going to lose this game..." I sent a text to Kristi with a similar message...I had faith. But I also knew what an easy, straightforward shot Walsh had. Twenty-seven yards was a piece of cake. I sat at the edge of my seat and prayed for a miracle. As they lined up the kick, the girls and I held our breath and we watched it sail past the goal posts...the outside of the goal posts. "He missed it!" I screamed! "He missed it! He missed the field goal!" Emerson grabbed my hands and started jumping up and down. Then time to celebrate our fortunate victory. Until we saw Walsh's poor, sad, horrified face. Amelia's eyes turned to me, and we watched, sad for him as he trudged off of the field. Happy our Seahawks had won, but sad for the one man that lost the game for the Minnesota Vikings.
How awful would that feeling be? Knowing that your teammates were celebrating on the sidelines just a mere twenty-seven seconds before. Knowing that his teammates had trusted him as their kicker, had placed all their confidence and hope in him. Knowing that his foot, the direction of the laces, the wind direction had kept his team from advancing to the next level.
A few days after the game, a group of students were in my office. One of my boys likes to chat football with me and he started in talking about this game. How lucky the Seahawks were (he's not a Seahawks fan) and how lucky we were to be going on to the next level of play. The other boy in that group has no interest in football...at all. But, he did ask why we were lucky. What had they other team done that helped us win? I explained the situation to him. He didn't quite understand what the big deal was. Why people felt sorry for him. I explained to him how missing that field goal could be the end of his career. Still not understanding, my student asked me, "Why?"
I looked at him and told him that this moment will define his career. And either he will let this get to him. He'll never kick again. He'll be traded and laughed off the team. He'll lose his confidence and will replay that moment over and over and over again. He'll crack under the pressure and shame and never be a strong kicker. It will impact his career from this day forward.
OR, he'll take the other path. He will use that moment and rise above it. He will continue to think about that kick and he will use it to rise to the next challenge. He will practice and practice and practice some more. And he will not allow that one moment, that one loss define him or his career as a football player. He will remember that in that same game where he missed a field goal that could have won them the game were also nine points on the scoreboard that we're all scored by him.
I tried to link it to a real life lesson for my boys, to give them an idea that this is how life works in general. We all make mistakes. We all do things that make or break our lives. There are defining moments for all of us all throughout our lives. We are presented with opportunities for success and moving forward often. We all have moments where we must make a choice. And that choice will impact the way our path goes from that point out. Or rather, our reaction to those moments will define our lives.
I often ask myself what is it between people that determines how they'll handle life situations? When I think of the trials that have crossed my path, how is it determined who will rise to the challenge and make a better life for themselves, and who chooses to succumb to the darkness and despair that follows? How is it that the girls and I have pulled ourselves up in adversity and slowly, one step at a time, have found the higher road and continue to rise above our circumstances, and yet Brian chose to end his life, to walk away from it all and choose to let his circumstances drag him under.
My answer? For me, Jesus walks with us. It's nothing that I do, other than have faith that there is more to our story. I have faith that our story doesn't end like this. I have faith that Jesus is going to give the world a message through our mess, a testimony through our tests. We are rising above our circumstances. We have risen above the demons that threaten to drag us into the depths. We have risen above the terror by night. We have risen above everything that has been thrown into our path. The girls and I have faith!
Do I have moments of despair? Yes! Do I have seconds where I question God's path for us? You bet! Do I have days where I call my friends and scream "I'm done!" Absolutely. But, I also have friends and family and support who remind me of my purpose. Who remind me why I'm here and what I still need to accomplish. Who remind me who is in charge and to just have faith. And then I dust myself off, refocus, and look towards the future.
So, my friends, have faith that your path is exactly where you are supposed to be, and that the yuck that rises up every once in a while will be things that you can face, with love and peace and a little help from your whole team. Choose to use your experiences to grow wiser and stronger and braver. Continue to kick the field goals, even though you might miss a few here and there. And when you do miss, don't be ashamed! You surely scored some other points in the game. Use the experience to learn a lesson. Line up again and go for it! Make the choice to stay in the game, and make yourself better than ever! Be of good courage! Have faith!
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