I didn't post last week when I hit a wall. I've heard about runner's wall. Being someone that is not a runner, the only wall I ever knew about was Pink Floyd's. But there's a wall that runners hit. I believe that the actual "wall" that is most referred to is the last few miles of a marathon, which is twenty-six miles of running. I'm going to plead ignorance and tell you all that I hit MY wall on Friday.
Twenty-five minutes. I was so confident as I was running. Twenty-five minutes is only five more minutes more than twenty. Piece of cake! I started running. I was confident. I was going to do this. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Thirteen minutes. Then I started not feeling great. I hit pause on my workout and just tried to breathe for a second. Hmm...something was different. I pushed start on the workout again. Fifteen minutes. Twenty minutes. Twenty-three minutes. I knew it was time to throw in the towel. I just couldn't run anymore. I lowered the treadmill speed to a walk and walked the rest of my workout.
My wall...maybe not THE wall, but my wall nonetheless. I was so disappointed in myself. I tend to get a bit obsessive about things and when I have a workout written down in my weight loss jourmal and I don't complete it, I get upset. So all weekend I stewed about not making my goal and having to stop at twenty-three minutes. I had convinced myself that I was not going to be able to break past it. Twenty-five minutes would just be my wall.
I hadn't realized that I also felt like my twenty minute runs were a fluke. That it was pure dumb luck that I had made my entire twenty minute run and it wasn't something that I could actually do. So, not feeling the best, with a fever and a headache I needed to run tonight. For twenty minutes. So I did! Three times of running for twenty minutes is no longer a fluke. I'm slowly turning into a runner. I'm slowly building up my endurance. And just as running twenty minutes is not a fluke, twenty-five minutes is not my wall.
Just like my spiritual journey. My times of commitment and loyalty to my God and my Savior are not a fluke. I am committed to living life as Christ-like as I can. I've been through a lot of situations that threatened to strip me of my faith and my relationship with Father God, but just as I've run this race before, I found my way back onto the path and continue the race to the finish line. My faith may have hit a wall. I was floundering and struggling and not sure I would ever recover. Pausing the workout didn't seem like it would help. But I found my inner drive, and I pushed onward, and worked my way back to the race!
I will find my inner drive and make it past twenty-five minutes too. And if I don't, I won't give up! I will continue to push and continue to run twenty minute intervals to build up my endurance and my confidence and my strength. And before I know it, twenty-five minutes will be easy!
Just know that your hard work and dedication is not a fluke! You are a precious daughter or son of the King. And you are running the race to the finish line. And you might hit a wall, but our Heavenly Father sent His Son to die for us, and bust through those walls! Dig deep! Keep praying! Keep pushing through the tricks and nastiness of demons! You'll get there. And you'll find that Jesus will be there to carry you over any wall you may encounter!
Twenty-five minutes! How amazing that feeling will be when I make it past that! Hopefully soon, with the help of my Father! Twenty-five minutes...with no wall...
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