Friday, April 29, 2016

Never-Ending Story...

A few weeks ago, you may remember a post I wrote called "The End is Near." I wrote about how I was hot stuff and going to finish my Couch to 5K app that week and then "Oh no, what would I do next?!" Remember that? If not, you could always go back and read it now!

Well, here it is a few weeks later. A real-life 5K later. A second real-life 5K coming soon. And this happened today:

I did it! I finished the Couch to 5K app! Now it's back to Days of our Lives and Doughnuts, right? (I've never watched a soap opera in my life, by the way. I just liked the alliteration.) WRONG! My blog post a few weeks ago was not accurate. This is not the end. I am not done. I don't even really like the term 5K finisher. I'm not finished! I'll never be finished! I'm a beautiful, Godly work in progress. 

This maybe hit me like a ton of bricks just last week as I was walking around my campus on my lunch break. I wasn't the only teacher walking that day. Across campus I could see others. Skinnier, healthier, beautiful women walking on their lunch breaks also. And it hit me. Diet and exercise and health is a never-ending story. You're never done. I could be at goal weight and running marathons and I still wouldn't be done.

This isn't the first time that this thought has crossed my head. Not even close! The difference? Last time I would have quit. I would have thrown in the towel and said "It's not worth it! I don't want to do this for the rest of my life. I don't want to weigh my food and measure how many corn flakes I get. I don't want to look at food and see a point value. I don't want to choose the apple over the brownie. I don't want to run for the rest of my life!" But that is not the message that is filling my head this time.

I DO want to keep this going! I DO want to be here to watch Amelia and Emerson graduate, go to college, have successful careers. I want to watch them get married and play with my grand babies. And me being alive and healthy has a lot to do with following through on those dreams. I need to keep going and more importantly I WANT to keep going. 

The same is true in my spiritual journey. It has been a painful growth process to get to where I am today. I have had to go through a lot of ups and downs to get to the point where I am at now. Where I can stand in the middle of this beautiful world with my arms and my head raised high and know that I am a blessed, loved daughter of the King. His creation! And I have a purpose in His kingdom. 

I have come a long ways. But that is also a never-ending story. The moments that are filled with demonic presence are terrifying at times. The visions that I see and the voices I hear fill my ears and my heart and I panic and am afraid...for a second. And then I know that I have an all-powerful, omniscient, omnipotent Heavenly Father walking with me, fighting those battles for me, winning victory on the cross many years ago for these moments right here. And the fear is gone and my strength is back and before I know it, my authority comes into play and those demons are toast. And I celebrate because it's over? For a little bit...and then I know that I ready my Armor of God and get prepared for the next attack. It's a never-ending story. Satan and his minions work very hard to throw me off track, to confuse me, to suck the wind out of my sails. So I keep my eyes on Father God, my heart on His word, and my head resting in His loving arms.

Faith and health: two never-ending stories. Two opportunities for growth and maturity. Two chances to make myself better. Two times when I will rest in His arms when I reach a milestone, and then pick up my armor to continue to fight on. It's not over. It's a process. A journey. And I am blessed to be right on course for both of them. 

No comments:

Post a Comment