Shut Up and Kiss Me...

I've written a lot of posts. So many, in fact, that sometimes I don't remember what I've talked about or shared with you all necessarily. So at the risk of repeating myself I'm going to share a bit about my writing process. Typically, when I get an idea for a blog, I get the title first. I jot it down on my list of blog ideas and then typically forget about it until I am given some sign that it's time to write on that particular topic. Currently there are about six titles on my list just waiting for the connection to what they're supposed to say. 

Rarely, however, this process is skipped and I come across something that is so shattering, so urgent, so important to my heart that I am given the entire thing from title to closing hook. Today is one of those blog posts. 

So, let me start by just dropping this here:

http://www.etonline.com/news/193170_victoria_beckham_under_fire_for_kissing_daughter_harper/

In case you worry that I am joining the clickbait bandwagon let me summarize what this article is about. Victoria Beckham, wife of soccer star David Beckham and former Spice Girl, is being mom shamed by the internet today for...are you sitting down? Kissing her five-year-old daughter, Harper, on the lips. Yeah. She's caused internet rage to flare because she kissed her daughter on the lips.

The article talks about how people are shaming her for "making out" with her daughter and talking about how she should save her "passionate kisses" for David and not her daughter. Reading the article made me cry. And not just well up with tears, but hand over mouth ugly cry. This is what is wrong with society. This is what I was taking about with social media in my last blog post. 

How on earth are we supposed to spread love and stop hate when so many people put so many rules and stipulations around love? We are so busy trying to control love that we are missing the point. This kiss, this simple mother-daughter kiss that they are sharing, and the ensuing controversy is only a fraction of what is wrong with people today. We try and control love from every angle. People are offended by love at every turn. We frown on public displays of affection. We have to make laws to give people permission to love and marry who they want to. We judge people when they are in relationships that don't fit the norm. And now we go after a mom because she kissed her daughter on the lips. 

I kiss my daughters on the lips. I kiss my mom and dad on the lips. I have cousins that I kiss on the lips. I even have friends that I kiss on the lips. It's a sign of love. It's a sign of affection. It's a sign that I am willing to share a piece of myself with that person. It is not sexual. I am not being passionate with my children. I don't want to sleep with my cousin. You shouldn't see me kiss my friend and judge me and think it's gross. It might not be something that you're comfortable with. And that's fine! But don't judge me because I'm ok with it.

In the article it states that there's a "rule" that you don't kiss a member of your family on the lips unless it is your husband. Huh...I'm sorry. But I must have missed getting my copy of this rule book on raising my family. I have never heard this rule or seen this rule before. What other rules am I missing? What other guidelines would they like to dole out on raising my family? Do they have anything in this rule book about having to tell your daughter that her father killed himself? Does it say anything in there about how to survive trauma? Any stipulations for dealing with the death of a pet? No? Well, by all means let's just regulate kissing and how I get to show affection to my children. 

Be kind! Who cares if I kiss my children? I feel like they deserve to be showered with kisses, on the lips or otherwise.  This is what people are choosing to be upset about? Have any of these people turned the news on lately and seen what is going on in the world? We're still going to choose to flame a mom for kissing her kids, huh?

We are so busy trying to regulate love that we are forgetting to spread love. We are so afraid of being affectionate with each other that we are turning on each other instead. We are so worried about being flamed in public or on social media for showing love to anyone that we censor ourselves in our relationships.  

Just love! Spread love and kindness! Stop picking on people because they have viewpoints that are different from yours! Don't want to kiss your daughter on the lips? Then don't! But don't sexualize my relationship with my girls and villianize me because I do kiss my daughters on the lips. Don't criticize me because I'm a touchy-feely sort of person. Don't make me feel like a bad mom because I'm kissing my kids!

I'm going to kiss my girls on the lips until they don't want me to do that anymore. And I'm going to kiss my parents on the lips until the day we part ways and say goodbye to each other. God's greatest commandment in the Bible? Matthew 22:37-40 says, "Jesus said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets." It just says love. It doesn't say how that is supposed to look or how we should act or what we're supposed to do. It doesn't say just not those icky kisses. It doesn't say you can only kiss your spouses. It just says love. Just love!

Just love! I look forward to the day where we see news stories about how much love is being shared between all sorts of people in all sorts of ways! Maybe when that day comes, the kissing will outnumber the killing, and the world will have peace at last.