On Broadway...

My girls love to dance! Anyone that has ever been in my house, or even around my girls, knows this to be true. Both of them are constantly dancing and moving and twirling and spinning and tapping and...they love dance and music. They've choreographed many songs on my iPad, some of which I wouldn't mind if I never heard again. "Call Me, Maybe" comes to mind right away. It's not as cute after the 5,000th time of hearing it, no matter how many moves the girls interject into the song. Both girls are enrolled in dance class, and they love doing that also! Amelia asks to be signed up for every new class she's eliglbe for and emerson is right behind her crying that she's too little for those classes right now. Amelia currently takes tap, ballet, and baton. Emerson is only in tap and ballet right now and can't wait to get her own baton. For the sake of my living room furniture, I'm glad that's a few years down the road. In December, Amelia performed in her first production of The Nutcracker and was the cutest little page on stage. So, when there were auditions posted for Snow White, Amelia was a little bit excited. But, just as with The Nutcracker, her nerves kicked in and she was hesitant to sign up. She paced and thought and worried and finally, she said, "Mommy, I didn't want to try out for The Nutcracker either, and look what happened? I LOVED it! So, I'm scared again, but I'll love this too!" And so it was settled that she would sign up. Auditions were this past weekend. She was a little nervous, but excited at the prospect of dancing with Snow White and being a bunny on stage. We pinned her #6 audition number to her leotard and she skipped right into the room. Emerson and I sat nervously in the lobby, waiting for Amelia to return. After an hour of auditioning, the classroom door opened. Eighteen little girls walked out of the room, all with tired, somber looks on their faces. Amelia came around the corner, skipping and beaming from ear to ear. She came over and hugged me and declared, "That was the best thing EVER!" I smiled at her as I handed her her street shoes, and shoved her ballet shoes into her dance bag. We were all thrilled. We got celebratory Slurpees on our way home. We got home and the phone rang. It my my mom wondering how Amelia had done. We talked for a while. I beamed about how proud I was of her, and how I was so glad she decided to try out. I complained just a little bit about how busy practices were going to be and that we would have busy weekends between now and March. And my mom paused... "March?" "Yeah. March." "When in March?" "Um...I'm not sure, why?" "The Lion King?" Oh no! The Lion King. If you have read my blog before, you know that Amelia loves the Lion King more than anything else. For Christmas, my mom purchased us tickets to go see Broadway's Lion King in Seattle...in MARCH! "Oh, mom...when are the tickets for?" "Well, I don't know. When's Snow White?" I pulled out our audition sheet and frantically looked for a date, while my mom walked upstairs to her desk to see when the Lion King was. I immediately began praying it wasn't the same weekend. PLEASE! Any weekend but the same weekend. I found the date on the audition slip and held my breath. My mom announced the date on her tickets and my heart shattered into a million pieces. It was the same date. I slowly turned and looked at Amelia, twirling and spinning and hopping like the bunny she had just auditioned for. The same weekend. What was I going to do? "Oh no..." Amelia stopped spinning in circles and she turned and stared at me. "What's wrong, Mommy?" "Amelia...The Snow White performance is the same weekend that we are supposed to go to The Lion King." "Umm...what does that mean?" I couldn't answer her back. I was so sad for her. "Mommy? What does that mean? Does that mean I can't go to The Lion King?" "You can't do both. You'll have to choose." She looked at me, horrified. She shook her head and took off running for her bedroom. I heard her door close and that's when she began sobbing. "Mom, I have to go..." I hung up the phone and went to her room. She had thrown herself across her bed and was crying her little eyes out. I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her into my arms. I let her cry for a bit before I started talking. "We need to think about this, Amelia. Do you want to be in Snow White? Or do you want to go see the Lion King?" "Why can't I do both? There are two days of Snow White! I could just dance on the first day!" "That's not fair to the dancers that aren't going to make it! You need to be able to commit to something whole-heartedly. Especially the dancing where there are others impacted by your choices." Through tears, she asked to go up to my mom's house. We walked up the hill and into mom's house. My mom met us at the door. Amelia stood crying in her kitchen, and then asked if she could trade the tickets in for another day. My mom shook her head. We had purchased those tickets a couple months ago. The seats that we got were selling fast. Amelia cried some more and then we came home. We had a birthday party to go to that afternoon, so we left the house and put the huge problem behind us for a while. As I was tucking Amelia into bed that night, she looked into my eyes and asked, "What should we do, Mommy?" "What do you want to do, Amelia? It's your decision." "Well, I really want to do both, but since I know that I can't, I would pick the Lion King. All I want to know though is can we go and watch Snow White?" "Of course we can! We can do that." "Ok." And she seemed ok with that option. The next day, I took Emerson to dance. I paid my bill for the month and told the office manager my problem. She shook her head and said that Amelia's name needed to be withdrawn from the audition list. I shook my head yes and told her that needed to be done and then I walked away. I sat in my car and waited until Amelia got to the dance studio. I had called my mom to have her talk to Amelia, but I was sad for her and I didn't want to not be there for her. We walked towards each other. I hugged her and asked if she was ok. "Of course, Mommy." "I'm sorry, Amelia!" "No! Don't be! It's OK!" "Are you sure?" "Yes. I have to go dance now. I love you." And off she skipped and twirled and leaped to dance class. That was a few nights ago. Tonight, I tucked Amelia into bed and gave her a kiss. "Mommy, just one more thing?" "What's that, La?" "Well, I just wanted to let you know that I'm just fine not being in Snow White. All I really wanted to do was watch it anyways. And I can't wait for the Lion King!" "Are you really sure, Amelia? I just feel so bad because I know how badly you wanted to be in Snow White." "Mommy! I'm sure! Seriously! What a great problem to have, right? I could either dance and have a great time doing that, or I get to go to see The Lion King! Like that's a bad thing to have happen either way! It's OK! I'm really OK!" I smiled. "Ok, Amelia! I love you." "I love you too! Good night, Mommy." "Good night." I walked down the hallway, thinking about my little girl. She's absolutely right. What's that saying making fun of a situation that is really a simple problem? First world problems? I was stressed over something that was a win-win, no matter what she picked. She was shocked and slightly appalled that I was still stressing over this decision, when she was really basking in the reality of how blessed she was to have to make this decision. So many times I immediately look for the negatives in a situation. Like this one, I was devastated that I was either ruining her ballet career at the tender age of six, or that I was keeping her from going to her "best Christmas present ever" in her words. I saw this as a horrible thing, when in reality, in Amelia's reality, it had become awesome. Sure, it was a tough decision, but a decision where Amelia would get something from both choices. I was panicked like it was the end of her world. She was worried, not that she wasn't going to be a rabbit, but that she wasn't going to get to watch the other dancers perform in Snow White. As soon as I told her we could go watch it, she relaxed and was OK with her decision. I need to do better with these things! Rather than see the negative of the entire situation and panic that the world is going to implode, I need to take a breath, think about the good in each decision, and move forward in the best route possible. This is true for much of life. So many times we are faced with decisions. The negatives rear their ugly heads and our wheels start spinning. We are horrified at the "choices" that we have to make, even when they are both choices that are OK! When I think about what we all have been through in the past few years, it amazes me that I can get myself into crisis mode over something like this. I don't want my daughter to be disappointed, but I also should have realized that Amelia is right. It's a great problem to have. So, once again, my little girl teaches me a lesson. A lesson in not panicking, not making a decision, thinking through things, and being grateful that I have the ability to make a decision in the first place. I was disappointed that Amelia wasn't going to be a rabbit. She was excited that she got to go watch the Broadway production of the Lion King in Seattle. Besides, she's convinced me the rabbit part would be holding her back from what really matters: watching Nala in The Lion King so she can prepare for her Broadway audition.