A Steel Trap

The time change is so hard on little kids...oh, who am I kidding?! The time change is so hard on me...LOL! I have been sooooo tired lately. Most days I'm just dragging. With it getting dark earlier, I have pushed bath time earlier, which give our evenings a much more relaxed feel. I'm not yelling and rushing to get everything squeezed in before bed time and it is so much nicer! Except, in my plan to slow things down, some of the structure has been lost in our nightly routines and my two smarty pants girls are taking full advantage of that. Where we used to sit down together and read the three of us huddled under a blanket, we are now pausing to take breaks in the middle of the story, or not even really listening. I got frustrated with them a bit tonight and told Amelia that we were doing this mostly for her homework and if she wasn't going to pay attention, then she would have to do her reading by herself. Being the naturally guilty little girl that she is, she ran to her room, threw herself on her bed, and began sobbing her little heart out. I tucked Emerson into bed, and then made my way into Amelia's room. "Amelia, why are you crying?" "I just don't know. And you know once I start, I just can't stop." (Which is completely true...just like her momma! LOL) "Well, why don't we take a breath and see if we can figure out why you are crying." "It's because you don't think I was paying attention to the story!" "Well, while I was reading you were doing everything BUT listening, so I know that you weren't paying attention to the story." "But I WAS!" "Well, prove it then!" "What??" "Prove it! Tell me about the story. Tell me what the story was about from start to finish." "But I'm not going to remember every word in the book!" "You don't have to! You just need to be able to retell the story so that I would know what it is about." "OK...well, it started in Kirsty's house and Mr. and Mrs. Tate were getting dressed to go to the rock and roll party..." and then she proceeded to pretty much tell me word for word what the story was about in great detail. Details that I NEVER thought she would know. I sat up on her bed, my mouth opened as I listened to her tell details of the story that I thought for sure she was too busy to hear, or too distracted to know. "Amelia, I have to tell you I'm sorry." "Why?" "Because I was wrong. You looked like you weren't paying attention and I assumed that you weren't, and that you had no idea what the story was about, but I should have known better. I'm sorry that I was wrong, and I'm sorry that I accused you not paying attention. Next time, I will find out the facts before I make assumptions." "It's OK, mommy. There are a lot of people that assume that I'm not paying attention, but I am, always. And I always notice everything, and I'm pretty good at remembering things. I'm pretty much the most dangerous thing to people that are sharing things they don't want anyone knowing. Because I pretty much pay attention to everything around me, but I can look like I'm not." I know that my daughter is smart and amazing. I know that she has a wicked memory that I would kill for. I know that she is observant and never misses a beat. I know that she is always quiet and sitting on the sidelines, and because of these things, she is right. She is dangerous! I apologized one more time and started to head down the hallway, when I hear her say, "Just one more thing, mommy!" "Yes, Amelia?" "I promise to use my super powers only for good..." and then she giggled. She told me that she loved me and she rolled over and went to sleep. I chuckled a little to my self as I thought about her thinking she has super powers. And in reality, the abilities that she has could be considered a super power to some. And then I thought about her comment about only using it for good. And she's right about that too! The gifts that she has with observation could be used against people. I think about all of the conversations that I have had with people assuming that Amelia isn't paying attention, when in reality she is absorbing every last detail. My heart sinks a bit, wondering what she hears, or what I say to others about her, or about her sister. And then, that got me thinking that our relationship with God isn't any different. He hears everything we say. He knows what we are talking about. He sees everything. And to think that I have an earthly reminder of that in my own home will be a great tool. Because I need to think that Amelia will hear and see everything. And maybe this will help me make better choices. Not talk about other people. Not discuss sensitive matters with others when I think Amelia is just in the other room. Not assume that I am keeping secrets from her. And my relationship with God should be the same way! No secrets. No hiding anything. No poor choices! Amelia is a special little girl, and she is smart and is so lucky to have the traits that she has. I grew up being a very observant child and it definitely comes in handy in my adult life as well. I only wish I had her memory! So, thinking a little differently from here on out to protect my kiddo from things she shouldn't be hearing...because there are certain things that will not go on my blog, and certain things that I am not ready for Amelia to have to face. So, they shouldn't be said aloud to anyone because the last thing I want to do is reveal information to Amelia without being the one talking to her directly. I need to set my filter higher to avoid hurting my little girl...a good lesson for all parents! Our kiddos are little sponges and they are absorbing everything, even the things we don't intend for them to absorb. Tonight, I was thankful for her talent and skill of paying attention even when I think she is not. And even when I look at the other implications, I'm still thankful...thankful that I am getting a second chance to pause before commenting. I am their momma and it is my job to protect them...even if that means protecting them from themselves, or from a careless, or maybe clueless, momma...