Sisters!

Growing up on a farm where your neighbors are your family members sometimes posed a challenge. It was great living next door to my grandparents. I loved being able to have the run of 32 acres to play and have fun with, but when your neighbors are family, there's not exactly neighborhood kids to play with. My cousins are all a bit older than we are. Most of the cousins' children are closer to my age than my first cousins are. So, it wasn't exactly like we had neighborhood block parties and all the kids would get together to play. Not at all. So, I played with my sister. She and I were the best of friends. There wasn't anything that we didn't do together. And that's still mostly true, except that my sister now lives two states away in sunny California and I haven't seen her since March of this year...8 months and counting. I miss her SO much! But tonight, I got a little reminder of how much I love her and how amazing our relation is...and was! If you read a few blogs back, you will see that my family has struggled with nightmares. All three of us have been plagued by nightmares. I don't really think that you can go through the events we've gone through and not have nightmares, but then a few weeks ago there was an event that we went through together and the nightmares have stopped. For all three of us! And that transformation has been amazing, but Emerson is afraid to be alone in our house still. She needs one of us to go with her for everything...getting her Taggy out of her room, going to the bathroom, putting her laundry in the hamper. She's afraid and this fear has spilled into her sleep. For the past few night, she has woken up screaming in terror about being alone in her bed. I hold her and comfort her and carry her back to bed. I tuck her in and the cycle repeats itself. During the episodes, she typically wakes Amelia who wants to be mother hen and protect her sister. So, when I woke Amelia up this morning, she said, "Mommy, I'm going to let Emerson borrow my worry dolls. They worked for me and I don't use them anymore, so I'm passing them on to her." I was touched by Amelia's gesture, so when I tucked Emerson into bed tonight, Amelia explained the worry dolls to her and how they worked. She told her that she needed to choose a worry doll and tell one of her worries to the doll. Her worries for the night were MomMom, Nana, Me and Amelia, and being afraid to be by herself. We wrapped the worry dolls up and I went out of her room to get her ice water for the night. As I was coming back, I could hear Amelia talking. I slowly approached the doorway to Emerson's room and peeked around the corner. Amelia was laying in bed next to Emerson, stroking her hair with her little hands and talking to her. Emerson's eyes were heavy with sleep, and Amelia was being so comforting. "Emerson, don't you worry. You have so many people on your team. We're all here for you. Mommy is here and I am here. The worry dolls are here for you, and you've got all of the things that help you not have bad dreams. God is here and he is bigger than anything that is scary. He'll take care of you too. And we're here if you need anything. I love you, Em and you're the best sister in the whole world. I don't knwo what I would do without you. Do you know, you and are are joined together at our hearts because we are the same, you and me. I used to be shy (as her mother I don't remember THIS!!) and I used to be afraid and I used to have horrible dreams too. But all of the things that we gave you to help you, helped me so I just know and pray that they will help you too!" and she kept cycling through her talk with her until Emerson was sound asleep. I put Emerson's water in her bed, grabbed La's hand and we walkeed out of Emerson's room together. "Well, mommy. I think we did it! I think she'll finally have a peaceful night." "You're such an awesome sissy, Amelia. It make me cry to see you with Emerson like that. I could just see how much you love her and how much you want to protect her." "Well, of course I love her and want to protect her. She's my sister. That's why God put me first in our family. To protect her and take care of her. I love her and I would so so sad if anthing happened to her." I tucked Amelia into bed and handed her her water. I told her how proud I was of her. Not only for what a great sister she is, but also for all of the fears and worries that she has conquered. "Well, mommy...God gave me those experiences too, just so I could know how to help my sister!" With tears in my eyes, and another lesson in strength and dignity learned, I walked to Amelia's doorway. "Mommy...just one more thing?" "Of course..." "You know why I'm such a good sister?" "You just are, Amelia! You're kind and loving and compassionate." "No, mommy...well, yes...I am all those things. But it's because I grew up all these years watching you and Aunt Julie. You and her love each other so much and I want Emerson and me to be just like that!" "I want you and Emerson to be just like that too, La! Aunt Julie is my best friend and I always took care of her when we were little too (for the most part. Julie might have some different stories to share...) and now that we're all grown up, we are still best friends and I wouldn't trade my relationship with her for anything." "Yup! That's what I want. I'm gonna love that little squirt for ever and ever." "Good night, Amelia...I love you." "Good night, mommy. I hope we ALL rest good tonight. If not, it's back to the drawing board for us, huh?" "Yeah...I suppose so! Night, La!" and then I walked down the hallway to close up the house for the night. Holy cow! Am I blessed or what? I have two of the best little girls in the world and seeing how they love and care for each other made me realize that they will be forever friends, just like Julie and me. Even though Julie and I hardly get to talk, and we live far apart and we've gone the longest ever without seeing each other, we will always have that special bond of being sisters who were also best friends and confidants. We played together and shared secrets together. We stuck up for each other and covered for each other. We laugh and love and live and I am blessed to have her! So blessed! And it makes my heart super happy to know that my girls will have that too! They will always have each other! And there's nothing better than a sister!