A Question for You...

Something happened today that I feel like I need advice on...especially advice from my readers that have children. I had someone point out to me that my blogs contain lots of personal information. Well, I already knew this part, but it was their opinion that the information that I share about Amelia is too personal and that my sharing this information, and the details of our private conversations on this blog could have the potential to harm my relationship in the future with Amelia. That the information that I present in my blogs could be a detriment to her in that if discovered by the wrong person, they could be used against her. At first I was defensive to this person, saying that my intention with the blogs was to shed light on the inner thoughts of my dear six year old and to connect it to a life lesson I felt was important. To someday be able to sit down with her and show her my pride and joy in her. To let her know how deeply I cherish our conversations and that I am honored to be able to learn so much from her. My intention was also to add stories about Emerson because she is also starting to give me the "Just one more thing..." line. Her stories are not quite as enlightening as Amelia's, but she's only three so I was going to give her some time before writing her off as not good enough for blog material :) I was angry that this person would suggest that I was exploiting my daughter and that something I enjoy writing could possibly be negative. But, it's nagged at me all day. What if this person is right? What is Amelia grows up realizing that our intimate nighttime conversations are documented on the internet for all the world to see? What if she sees this and she no longer feels safe sharing with me, or talking to me? What if I've ruined my chances of being the person that Amelia comes to? It bothered me enough that I talked to Amelia about it. I told her that I write stories about the conversations we have and that people read them. She asked what my stories were about and I told her. I haven't read any of them to her, but that may be my next step to stop my stomach from being upset, but I thought I'd start here and ask what other people think, because I am torn. I'm torn between continuing the blogging that I am enjoying. Writing my story for me and Amelia to share in later years (and Emerson, too) and to be able to reflect on the conversations that we had. And torn between the other side that I do indeed cherish my moments with Amelia, and I would be devastated if she saw my blogging as a betrayal of trust. That I was exploiting her for my own entertainment. That I am using our stories to play the victim and not move forward. Because that wasn't my intention at all, but it is coming across to some as that and I would not want it to come across to Amelia as that. I am most certainly not trying to play a victim. In fact, this blogging process has made me feel stronger and more confident and a better momma to my girls. And I would never want that to be jeopardized. So, I'm not sure what the future of my blogging endeavors will be. My stomach is in knots and has been since this was pointed out to me, and like I said above, I'm torn. I don't know what to do or what to think. Perhaps I'll think about it all night and decide to maybe scale back on sharing details of my family. And if anyone has any advice or their own thoughts, I'd be curious to know because maybe I am playing the victim...maybe I'm over-sharing details of our conversations and our lives. Maybe no one really cares one way or the other, but I tend to take everything to heart, so I care. I love my girls with all my heart and no matter what, their safety and well-being are what matter the most. And if typing some words every night is going to be something that isn't good for them, then maybe this blogging stuff is not for me. So, I'll think and pray and worry about it for a while...and I suppose my answer will come to me at some point. I do enjoy writing, but maybe I need to go back to my other blog and post about me, so that it's my life that is exposed and not my daughters' lives. Because that was never my intention...never...