Burying Your Head in the Sand

Amelia's teacher has a prize box. It's part of the reward system that she uses in her classroom apparently. If they students are "caught" doing something good, they fill out a slip and get their names into a drawing to win things at the end of the week. This last Friday, Amelia's name was drawn and she got to go to the prize box. According to Amelia, there were smiley face erasers, a baby doll, and other things that would entertain most six year olds. Amelia picked a mini stuffed ostrich which Amelia named Hefe. We have chickens (real ones) on our mini farm. The first batch of chickens we got were named after berries (Strawberry, Blackberry, Blueberry) and the second batch of chickens we named after beer. Hefeweizen is one of them, so naturally she names everything that now. So, we now own an ostrich named Hefe. Amelia was telling me about picking the ostrich out of the box. She loves that little ostrich. She has played with it all weekend, even fashioning a dress and a pair of pajamas for it. Tonight, she was asking about ostriches. We talked about how fast they run. We talked about how they have tiny brains. We talked about how they bury their heads in the sand when they are frightened. Working in the schools, I remember seeing information on gifted learners and how they are not just satisfied learning stuff, but that they take it to the next level and want to know everything about a topic. So, talking about ostriches tonight eventually let to getting my iPad out and watching videos on ostriches. She wanted to see one bury his head in the sand. But YouTube did not help out with that. We saw them running. We saw them eating. We saw them being turned into soup and satay. :( But no hiding their heads in the ground. Amelia was rather disappointed, but she decided to act it out. She climbed into bed, and shoved her head under her pillow. Then she sat up and said, "Oh my gosh! I'm just like an ostrich! I bury my head under my pillow instead of burying my head in the sand." She giggled, rolled over, and said "good night, mommy!" I started to walk away and she came back with her one more thing, mommy moment: Mommy...it's ok to bury your head when you're scared, isn't it? I came back to the doorway and stood silent for a minute. I was at a loss for words. I know that many times in my life when I'm afraid all I want to do is bury my head...pretend bad things never happen...pretend everything is ok. Is that a bad thing? I don't think it is, unless you don't ever deal with what you need to deal with. Three years ago this month, my life was turned upside down. And I was fine. I buried my head in the sand. I went into autopilot and told everyone that everything was fine. That nothing was wrong. That I was fine, all the while burying my head in the sand. And all of this denial and pretending and not facing my fears led to physical problems...seizures mostly, but I haven't felt well for years. So, I told Amelia that it was natural to be scared. That it was part of life to be afraid of things and it was human reaction to bury our head in the sand. And that was OK. But, we need to talk about our fears. We need to reach out to others when we want to bury our heads in the sand. We need to know when enough is enough and pull our heads out of the sand and face our fears. And that is a hard thing! I'm still trying to face my fears. I'm still trying to fight the urge to bury my head. But in the long run, it's the best choice, the healthiest choice. Amelia started to lay down and tuck her head under her pillow. She said, "Mommy, I just can't face my fears right now. I'm too scared to not put my head under my pillow." I walked over and held her hand. I told her that I would be here for her always. That I am just down the hallway and that we always prayed that nothing bad is going to happen to her. She hugged me, and told me I was the best mommy ostrich ever. She laid her head ON the pillow, and drifted off to sleep as I sat next to her on the bed with tears streaming down my face. It's hard to fight your fears. It's hard to face your fears. It's even harder to be a momma to a little one who is scared to face her own fears. I wish I could take away her fears. I wish that I could help her get rid of the things that torment her little spirit. But, if I've learned anything it's that we each have to take the steps to develop our own resiliency. And if a little stuffed ostrich can play even a little part in getting Amelia to develop her resiliency, then that will be the best lesson she's learned in first grade. So...don't bury your head in the sand! Please, don't bury your head in the sand. Face your fears, your worries, your stresses, and let them go! Because in the end, burying your head in the sand is suffocating and you have to come up for air sometime. And whatever was there when you buried your head, will still be there waiting for you...