Happy Halloween!!

Tonight was trick or treating night. We started early, hoping to be done early, but it didn't quite turn out that way. In fact, we crashed and were done earlier than I wanted to be, but they girls were just way too tired...and we didn't eat dinner until 7:45. We didn't make it to all of the houses we usually do, which made me sad, but I would have been carrying two sleeping beauties if we didn't cut it short when we did. In fact, they both almost fell asleep in the booth at dinner tonight. It was a fun, amazing night! Do you ever have moments so good, you feel like the world is slowing down, just for a minute, so you can capture the moment in your mind. There were a few moments like that for me tonight. A few snapshots in time where the world stopped spinning just long enough for me to look at my girls and savor the memories: Emerson running to the doorbell. Amelia hiking her dress up like a little lady to climb the stairs in her fancy shoes. Emerson sitting on my lap eating chocolate at one of the stops. Amelia's face when she opened her Princess Toys from her beloved Bruce and Marilyn. Emerson playing fetch with my aunt's dog. There were many moments tonight where my heart surged with love and admiration. Perhaps you all get tired of reading about this, but this year's activities have been so wonderful. I am indeed blessed! Amelia was almost asleep in the truck when we got home so I knew that our one more thing mommy moment was going to be brief as I tucked her into bed. I kissed her goodnight and told her I loved her. I told her how much fun it was trick or treating with her and Emerson and MomMom and Pa tonight. She smiled and said, "I know! It was great! Mommy....I feel like this is the first Halloween of the rest of our lives." I laughed at her adaptation of the common saying. I said good night one more time, turned and walked back to the living room. And then I froze in the hallway and truly thought about what she had said. The first Halloween of the rest of our lives. Six year olds, and in particular the one that lives under my roof, are very perceptive little beings. Or maybe that should just be children in general. They know when things are going well, and they know when they are not. They know when times are hard and they know when times are easy. They can read the emotions and feelings of mommies, and even daddies for those families that have those! They just know when things aren't right. And for the past few years, things haven't been right in our house. Brian's passing. My seizures. Bad dreams. All of the events over the last three years had put a cloud over our house, a weight on all three of us. And just in the last few weeks, that cloud it gone, and the weight is lifted, and Amelia is absolutely correct...today was the first Halloween of the rest of our lives! Even though our routine has been pretty similar since Amelia's first Halloween, this year was indeed different. It was relaxed and fun. We laughed and had a great time, even when Pa almost left Emerson standing in the driveway at one of our stops. I got to experience Halloween this year through the eyes of my children, and it has never been better. To truly see what Halloween is like for my babies and to experience that with them was amazing! To see them running up to the houses and yelling "Trick or Treat!" as the door opened. To look at them in all their beauty in their costumes and think back three years ago to the baby Emerson chicken I carried in my arms. And to think back even further and picture my tiny Hershey's kiss from Amelia's first Halloween. So much has changed. We have all grown! We have all changed! We have all gotten stronger and I am loving experiencing all these firsts together as a whole, healthy, healed family. So, Amelia is absolutely right! This is the first Halloween of the rest of our lives! I loved experiencing today. My heart surges with love and excitement as I think of all the other first days we'll experience together: Thanksgiving...Christmas...New Years...and even just tomorrow.