Elvis Has Left the Building

In Amelia's experiences with nightmares, my therapist gave us a pouch of Guatamalan worry dolls. There are five little dolls in the pouch and Amelia takes them all out and tells them her worries from the day. Most of the time, her worries are regarding her nightmares. A few days ago, she decided she didn't need to tell them her worries...that she would be just fine without talking to them. One of the worry dolls had crazy black hair, so Amelia named him Elvis. He's the only one in the pouch with a name, and we laugh a lot about Elvis. About a month ago, Elvis's hair starting coming loose. We would laugh about his poor hair, and eventually, one of the worry dolls carried the burden of poor Elvis and his potential for losing his hair. And then, it happened. Elvis's hair fell off of his head. We laughed, and threw his hair in the garbage, and that freed up the other worry doll for another duty. Tonight as I was tucking Amelia into bed, she told me that she needed to talk to the worry dolls. She was certain she'd had a bad dream last night and she wanted to make sure it didn't happen again tonight. I pulled out the pouch and laid the worry dolls across her matress like usual. One...two...three...four... "Um, Amelia...we're missing a worry doll..." "WHAT?!? Oh my gosh...it's Elvis. This is unacceptable! First, he loses his hair, and now he loses his entire self! What are we to do?" (This is really how my kid talks...a hazard of being a speech therapist I suppose.) "Well, I don't know what we're going to do. I suppose we could look for him under your bed, or lift up your mattress?" "Mommy...let's just pretend that Elvis went back to Guatamala on vacation. My nightmares aren't bad anymore, so maybe he left because he knew that I only had four things to worry about instead of five. So, he knew it was safe to leave me alone for a while!" Oh, Miss Amelia...she is definitely her mother's daughter. If there are five worry dolls, she comes up with five things to worry about. If there are four, she'll only worry about four things. So, what a brilliant idea she had! Get rid of one worry doll, have one less worry! Wouldn't it be great if it were that simple? Get rid of a worry doll, get rid of a worry. I don't have worry dolls right now, so maybe I should get some so that I limit my worries to the number of dolls in my pouch. Life is full of worries, and I worry more than anyone should worry! I think that has been my nature my entire life. I've always been an anxious, worried person. I remember being like six years old and standing on the diving board at Olympic High School in swimming lessons and chewing my fingernails down to nothing. And I remember being in Kindergarten and wearing a dress that one of the eighth grade girls was wearing and worrying that my classmates would notice and would make fun of me for being such a big girl. And those worries continued and got bigger the older I got. I worried about wearing the same dress as the big kids, who would twirl my jump rope at recess, going to the older kids class for reading, disappointing my teachers, grades, my parents, my sister, my grandparents, schoolwork, friends, not having friends, not making the volleyball team, making the volleyball team, disappointing my parents, making the honor roll, picking the right college, grades again, getting into medical school, changing my major, not getting a good enough GPA, choosing the wrong major, not passing the GREs, not getting into grad school, clinical practicums, working at hospitals, working at schools, internships, graduation, picking the right job, moving home, finding a boyfriend, never getting married, finding a husband, making the right choice to marry Brian, having babies, being a good mom, doing the right thing for my babies, enrolling the girls in preschool, which school do I choose, why does my dad have cancer, staying at the school I've been working at forever, changing schools, should I be coordinator, do I creamate my husband, what songs do we play at his funeral, how do I tell Amelia, what if I have a seizure at work, when can I drive, why does my dad have cancer again, should I just drive, why can't I take my kids to the zoo, how can I pay off all of my bills, am I a good mom, am I doing what's best for my family, should I get more chickens, what do I do when I lose my Sissy dog...and the thing is??? I'm not unique by any means! We all have these worries. I think that my life experiences have given me some wisdom about a few things. And those things include heartache and worry so naturally I've become a listening ear for many about heartache and worry. And I'm ok with that because if that is a sliver of good that can come from my experiences, then I am certainly glad to pay it forward. But it saddens my heart that so many people are walking through so many different kinds of fires. There's a picture on Facebook that I have seen many times that says something about being kind to everyone, for we don't know the battles that anyone is facing. And sadly, it is so so true! Everyone has something. Everyone could go through my extensive list of my life worries and chose one and there would be a thousand others going through the same thing, or something worse. These are hard, worrisome times that we live in. And it is tough and scary and...hard! But, when I think about the things that Amelia worries about with her dolls, about Elvis losing his hair, it takes me back to the worries of a six year old sweetheart. Elvis losing his hair was one of her five worst worries for the day. And I am glad for that! Because it wasn't that long ago that her worries were much bigger, much more powerful and intimidating. And I know that we are all fighting our own demons. But, just imagine if you only got five worry dolls a day...or better yet, what if you only got ONE or TWO worry dolls a day. Or...even better...what if you didn't need to use them anymore! A few days ago, life was so good for Amelia that she didn't need her worry dolls anymore. And my heart leapt for joy! So, tonight when she asked for them again, my heart was sad for her, for I knew that something was on her mind. So, my goal? Pretend that all my worry dolls are on vacation in Guatamala. That I don't have any worries to offer up because life is too short to worry! Don't worry...easier said that done! But, I am pledging myself to worry less about the giant things that I usually have no control over and that worrying won't help anyways, and focus more on the little things that I might be able to help. Like poor Elvis's hair...