Fall Festival

Tonight was the Fall Festival at Jackson Park. Every year since Amelia was born, I have taken the girls. I don't volunteer to help out as a staff member because it's all about the girls that night. And, because typically, we go, and we leave about as quickly. The Fall Festival, although a very fun activity, is a nightmare for a little girl with sensory issues. So, every year I've taken Amelia previously, we have walked in, made our sugar wand, and left almost immediately because she just can't handle the crowd and the noise and the hustle and bustle. So, I worried a little bit going into this event this year, because since I am not able to drive, I asked one of my fellow staff members if they could give us a ride home. She said she could and I was very grateful to find a ride for the girls and me to get home. BUT, this also meant that I was at the mercy of this person's schedule, and she had volunteered to work a booth at the festival, which meant that we would have the stay for the ENTIRE evening. But, I cross my fingers, and decided if worse came to worse, we could go hide in my office for the evening and play the games in my room. So, Marilyn dropped the girls off at Jackson Park and we went back to my office to play for a while until the festival started. After a while, we got dressed in our costumes, put makeup on, adjusted crowns, slipped on our fancy shoes, and headed through the hallways to the gym. Amelia got to the gym door, took a deep breath, and walked in. And it was fabulous. There were no lines, she casually talked to my principal, we walked over to the sugar wand table...and THEN, the doors were opened and people started coming in. They poured in...tons of people. The loudness level increase. Scary costumes were blurring past as they ran to get to their lines for games. People were everywhere. And Amelia...did just fine! She loved it! We had a blast. We met up with old friends we hadn't seen in a while. We played games! I got to introduce my girls to most of my favorite students. We heard a story from our librarian (about cows - Amelia's favorite!). The girls did an amazing job! And before I knew it, it was 7:30 and time to go home! I couldn't believe it! We made it through the entire night. There were a couple times that Amelia came up to me and asked if we could go outside for a while, so we took a few breaks outside alone, but other than that, she was trooper! It was the best Fall Festival EVER! When our ride dropped us off at our house, we were walking to the door and Amelia said the same thing. "Mommy, that was the best time I've ever had! This is my favorite time of year!" I agree! We skipped bath and we got ready as quick as we could and I scooped Em to bed, and I went to La's room and tucked her in. She asked me to lay down for a minute, so I did. She kissed me and said, "I love you, mommy!" I squeezed her back and said, "I love you more, Amelia." I stood up and tucked her in and started to walk out when I hear, "Just one more thing mommy?" "OK, La...make it quick though. It's late." "I had fun tonight, mommy." "I did too, Amelia. What was your favorite part of today?" "Umm...Fall Festival." "What was your favorite part of Fall Festival." "That's easy. Just being with you and Emerson. I love you and there is no one I would rather be with at the Fall Festival than you guys. You make life fun! And we sure know how to have a good time together, don't we?" I smiled and said, "I couldn't agree with you more, sweetheart. I love you with all my heart." "I love you more, mommy. Good night." and then she rolled over and went to sleep. What a blessed life I have! If you read back a few posts and read about my weekend last weekend, I had a life-altering event on the anniversary of my husband's death. I didn't give details into this event, but ever since that day, some amazing things have come about. One of the things that I am noticing is that I got my zest for life back. I didn't realize that for so long, I wasn't living. I was surviving. I was going through the motions of the day to day and not living. Not noticing that there was more to life than what I was experiencing. Don't get me wrong, I had an amazing life. When you've got little babies, and the friends and family that I have, you can't help but have a great time. But, I wasn't experiencing life. The Fall Festiival at Jackson Park is crazy. It's packed and crowded and noisy and chaotic. But tonight? I lived it for the first time. I walked the hallways with my daughters by my side and I had the best time I've ever had there. I saw the joy in my children's faces. I saw the fun that the other kids were having. I watched my students interacting with each other, and having fun too. It was a great night! A great event! A great time! And my zest isn't just with Fall Festival. There are so many things that warrant so much emotion. My heart swells with pride when I look at the two little girls that I created. I get to be a mom to them? Wow! How did I get so blessed? What did I do to deserve them? The love I have in my heart for my friends is indescribable. I am truly blessed with some amazing friends and my heart sings with joy that I have people that love and care for me so. I have happiness about things that I haven't been happy about in a long time. Tonight, after I put the girls to bed, I was doing dishes. And I found joy in that. I found joy in the fact that I am blessed with a beautiful kitchen, and lovely dishes, and a house to raise my girls in...I am blessed! I thought about my coworkers...my Jackson Park family...and how God placed me at that school, with those people for a reason. And seeing them at the school tonight, giving to the kids that mean so much to so many of us was a perspective I hadn't seen before. I was too caught up in surviving to truly live and see life going on around me. I'm living life in a whole new light, and I am loving it! So, I encourage you all to find your zest! Find the things in your life that are holding you back from living and change them. Take a breath to truly enjoy every minute of life, because there is so much that you miss if you don't! I am amazingly happy...and maybe that makes me more crazy than I was when I was amazingly unsure of life and unsure of the future, and stuck under a little black raincloud. But, I don't care. I am experiencing life! I am living life and enjoying my babies and loving Fall Festival. So join me! Stop merely surviving and live! Because it's the most wonderful feeling in the world!