Horses or Zebras?

As you've probably seen in my previous posts, my daughter Amelia can be a totally profound six-year-old. We cover a lot of topics in any given night, most of them heavy topics for a little one Amelia's age. Just look at the first few posts. I get some great stuff from my little girl and she keeps me on my toes. And then, we have a conversation that helps me remember that she is just six years old. She is sweet, and young, and innocent, and fun, and...six! So, tonight's one more mommy moment isn't anything profound. There may not be any cheesy life lesson that I can come up with, but we can see where this goes. I covered Amelia up and started to walk out of her room and she said, "Mommy, just one more thing! If you were a zebra, and you couldn't have stripes, would you want to be all black, or all white?" I laughed at her question, and then thought about it for a minute. I smiled and said, "Black!" and she asked me why I chose that color. I told her how when I was a little girl, my favorite movies were The Black Stallion and Black Beauty. And that I loved looking at black horses and how pretty they are. I should have seen her next question coming, but she wanted to know why we didn't have a horse on our farm. I laughed and told her that we would probably never have a horse. She asked me why and I told her that they were expensive to buy and expensive to take care of and that I wouldn't be able to own a horse because I'm afraid of them. Yeah, you read that right. I'm afraid of horses! I want to like horses. They are beautiful. I'm envious of my friends that ride horses because it seems like a very fun, very peaceful thing, but I'm afraid of horses. I can stand in the middle of a cow pasture with twenty cows around me and I'm fine. But put me on the opposite side of a fence next to a horse and my heart starts to race, my palms get sweaty, and I'm terrified. I know that horses are smart and can sense fear and I know that this makes matters worse, but I can't help it. I don't know why I'm afraid of them for sure. I know that my uncle had Joe, the meanest horse I know. Joe bit me once on my back. I also watched my cousin get thrown from a horse. And my sister got thrown from a horse. I would just as soon hang out with the cows. They're cuter. And nicer. And not as mean. Or at least in my experience. Amelia laughed at me and said, "You're the toughest mommy I know. How could you be afraid of a horse?" I asked her to tell me something that she was afraid of. She right away said, "I'm afraid of the fire alarm going off." And then I said, "You're the toughest six-year-old I know. How could you be afraid of a fire alarm." She grinned widely and said, "Ahh...I see what you did there." I smiled at her and asked her if she had to be a zebra with no stripes what color would she be? Without hesitation she said WHITE! When I asked her why she said, "Because then I would look like an angel." Amelia then suggested that we try the horse thing sometime, that she had the perfect solution for me. She asked me if I was afriad of zebras and I told her that I didn't think I was, but that I'd never been face to face with a zebra. Then she said, "How about you try to find us a black horse, but instead of calling it a horse, we'll call it a zebra with no stripes. Then you won't be afraid of it." Oh Amelia...always trying to manipulate the systerm. Little Miss Smarty Pants!! Oh to think through things that way! To be able to take something that we're afraid of, or something that is difficult for us, and twist it into something that's not as scary, or not as daunting. To look at a horse and think of it as a zebra with no stripes, rather than a horse. Or even to look at the giant spider outside of our front door and not see a scary spider, but to see Charlotte and welcome her living with us. Amelia has a natural gift for always finding the positive in things, and I need to take a lesson from her. I am one that tends to think the worst and worry about something until it becomes this giant anxiety-filled problem. And I'm not 100% sure if this has truly changed, but my thinking over the last few days is different. Where there was once anxiety and fear and panic, there is only happiness and hope and joy! So, a few days ago I might have seen the horse and panicked and worried about my fear, but right now I can see the zebra with no stripes. I can look past my worries and fears and anxiety and see life in a different light. And it feels good. So, which one would you be? Black or white? It's kind of a fun little question. Even without the cheesy life lesson that I attempted to come up with! I don't know where Amelia comes up with the things she comes up with sometimes, but I do know that life is never boring. Our one more thing mommy moments have blessed me beyond measure. She is so amazing to me no matter what topic we happen to be discussing. She teaches me something with each conversation, whether it's about death and dying, or horses and zebras. I'm lucky to have a little reminder living with me to not fear the horses, but to look for the zebras without stripes.