The Boogeyman

Amelia is apparently singing at chapel on Wednesday with a friend. This friend's mom texted me Friday afternoon and asked if I'd heard our girls were singing a duet together. I was still at work and had not seen Amelia so I had not yet heard the news. So, I got into the car when they picked me up...and I waited...and waited...and finally I couldn't stand it anymore. "Amelia, are you singing in chapel on Wednesday?" "What?! Why would you think that?" "Well because I got a text from your friend's mom saying that you guys were singing together in chapel on Wednesday." "Ohhh...that! Yeah...I'm singing in front of the whole school." "WOW! What are you singing?" "Well, Ms. D asked the class if anyone knew the words to "God is Bigger than the Boogeyman" (a Veggie Tales song) and we were the only two that knew the whole thing by heart, so we get to sing it for the whole school on Wednesday." This was all said like it was no big deal. But, as the weekend wore on, my little mini-me started to get some anxiety about it all. So, she practiced and practiced and sang it in the car and sang it in the shower. She is very good at the song. Her voice is so cute when she sings. And, she knows all of the words by heart. So, I clap for her after every rehearsal and remind her that she's so smart that she knows that whole song and that she's going to do very well. Switching topics slightly, her anxiety is also up a little bit because of many things. The weather...she's terrified that the power is going to go out. It freaks her out when it does. The darker nights...she doesn't like the dark very much, but she is getting worried about the nights getting darker earlier. Halloween...she loves the dress up part, as long as it's princesses and cowboys and nothing scary. But, today we went to Hunter Farms to get our pumpkins. They have a mini haunted house there and we lost our better judgement for a minute and walked in. I took one look at the strobing lights and the fog and decided that I wasn't going to risk having a seizure. And Amelia saw the skeleton in the corner and the bloody head on the floor. I grabbed her hand and turned right around and got out of there. So, needless to say, she has some worries. So, tonight for our one more thing mommy moment, she decided she needed to practice her song one more time. So, she started singing, "When I'm lying in my bed...and the furniture is creaking...I'll just laugh and say, "Hey! Cut that out!" and get back to my sleeping 'cause I know that God's the biggest and He's watching all the while..." "Wait a minute, mommy! Why didn't I think of this? God is always with us. And He is bigger than the boogeyman! He's bigger than anything! So, why on earth am I worried about stuff? I just need to remember this song and I shouldn't be afraid of anything. He's always with me and He will always take care of me. No worries, right?" I smiled at her and kissed the top of her head. "You're right, La...no worries. God is bigger than the boogeyman. And He's bigger than anything that we've ever gone through, and bigger than anything we'll ever go through. So, you're right. We all need to remember those words and stop worrying." Isn't this the truth? That's all we need to remember. I know that many times throughout my life, I have tried to do it on my own. I am tough and independent and think that I know everything and can solve my own problems. But, I can't. I'm just not good enough...not big enough. I know in the moments of chaos when I feel like the entire world is swirling around me and I don't know what to do or where to turn that if I just stop what I'm doing, drop to my knees, and turn it over to Him, that He is bigger than any problem I'm fretting about. I have a dear friend that is constantly trying to remind me of this. Let go and let God...most of the stuff we worry about tends to be stuff we don't have to worry about...talk to God, let Him carry your burdens...why are you trying to do this on your own...she is filled with wisdom and awesome reminders about this, but I'm stubborn and I want to do it on my own. So, I throw up a prayer or two and push forward, trying to do the best I can on my own. And it NEVER works. I think that I got stuck in this pattern for the last three years. I was angry at life and sad and hurt and didn't know where to turn. I tried my best to survive on my own, to figure things out and fix everything on my own. And occasionally I would surrender part of it to God and see what He could work out for me. But, it wouldn't ever last and I would be struggling to tread water once again. And then a few weeks ago, I realized that I was missing a piece of the puzzle. I was missing the part where I surrender all to God and beg him for help, cry out for mercy, ask Him to take my burdens. I spent many nights in fervent, gut-wrenching, tear-filled prayer. Begging Him to take this burden. Asking Him to help me through October. Praising His name for all the blessings that I have in life, and asking Him to erase my pain, take away my heartache, mend my broken soul. And it worked. Like it always does. God is bigger than the boogeyman...He's bigger than your pain or heartache...He's bigger than it all, and He's just waiting for you to fall into His loving arms and surrender to His mercy, to His loving kindness and to ask Him for help. It took me a while to remember just how much my heavenly Father loves me and how much He wants good for me. And now that I've remembered, I'm moving forward, hand in hand with my kids, and in the protective shadow of my God! He is bigger than the boogeyman, and He's watching out for you and me...if only we could always remember that He's there, just waiting for us to come to Him. I thank God for the reminder of a six year old with the voice of an angel. Why didn't I think of this?